At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
