I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
