I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
