Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
