Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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