Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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