My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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