Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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