That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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