Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
