Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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