Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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