I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
