Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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