so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I want her autograph on my taint
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
