Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
