Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
