note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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