I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
