these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
