So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
