Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
