I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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