I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
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So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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