Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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