ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize