it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
