were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
