i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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