I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
