please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
