Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
