Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
