dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
