This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
