I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
