Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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