My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
