i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
