it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
