nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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