Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My vagina is officially offended.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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