I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
