AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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