i just google imaged poop.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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