That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the day after is always just damage control
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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