Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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