My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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