I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
