Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
