so that wasnt chicken after all
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
