Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
