Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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