the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
