help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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