so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
