my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
